Till Now

I didn’t get it

till you mentioned it.

I didn’t know,

till I followed.

Carved in the dark,

delighted in my shadow.

You covered my eyes and ran.

Left me blundering,

withering my rose.

I can’t give it up,

love after love.

Naked body covered in scars,

let me hold the remaining shards.

Give it up,

let me love what’s left.

Painted

This slow life

was ruinin’ me fast.

You paint me a picture

I gave you child

Workin’ hard

tryin’ to get right,

but relative is thought,

and relative is love.

Thought about it twice 

you thought about it once

no family, no money.

Naive I am, 

but innocent I’m not.

Pure drop of love

dropped on my eye.

The more I learn

the more I will discover.

And I’m falling,

falling away,

away with you.

Electric

Feel through me, in one cold sweep

let my soul weep in grief.

 Heartless ache, breaks dawn

my day pre-recorded; 

plays what I hate.

Sought out solutions, fueled by desolation

and now that it’s over

my feet stumble forward.

I fall at each rock, 

blood laces my steps;

an echo rings clear

I hear my self breathe.

No longer scared,

I burn with desire. 

Mindless

I can barely function,

I can hardly sleep.

I’m flooded by memories-

so hard to defeat.

hot tears haunt me

anger sunk it’s teeth in me

it’s red face of laughter 

plaguing my dreams

 blank slates

pallets of color

but all I drew

was hued in red

unburied past,

burst into flames

held in my hands

I'll let it burn

smoke rising tall

help came fast;

cold refreshing water

ran through my veins

dripping from me 

came the sadness I sung

and from the strands of my hair

came the anger I held.

Bound

I bound this,

I wrapped this,

I caused this,

I'm drained by this. 

I was there,

I am here,

I felt it,

I wept,

entranced by it.

I want this to pass,

I want this to drop,

down to the floor.

I want the wind,

to blow through the pain.

I am lost in this,

I am held in this,

I am blind by this,

I fall by this,

I am bound in this.

Boiled

I boiled my anger;

he never said sorry.

I conversed in my shadows

here, I ruined him with shame

I waited for a whim

to free what I felt

what I got?

real conversations

mind boggling realizations

My Hope

Wake me up when when I'm knee deep in roses. Then sing me back to sleep, to sleep, to sleep. This time of acclamation is harder then perceived. The feelings so strong, these songs come, these songs go. I'm seeing red, but I'm hearing blue. I smell love, but I taste death. I crave blood, but I reach for soap. I try and scrub these memories clean, but somethings, they're no longer worth the pain. My hope, my faith, my love.